It is an extreme sadness. The kind that wrenches every ounce of courage from your soul. Realizing that something you took for granted, was now possibly never going to happen. As a child growing up, even if you knew you were not the brightest kid in your class and would not be the aeronautical engineer, Picasso or Bach, – you knew you were always going to be able to be called mum or dad. That was God-given. Nobody needed to have a certificate to do that. In fact you were taught to be careful because it could come looking for you.


So you took the precautions while you finished college and until you found the person you wanted to share this amazing experience and responsibility with. And now it’s running away from you. And the harder you chase it , the more elusive it becomes. To the point that you believe – you convince yourself- that if you are not good enough to do ‘this’ , then you’re not good enough to do anything at all! Blaming each other, the Universe, your Genetics – nothing makes it easier. People all around you keep falling pregnant and giving birth and you have to be happy for them? Your younger sister in law, the school friend who actually also became the next Picasso. Some people got it all! Why couldn’t you have the simple pregnancy? Was it too much to ask? 


Everyone’s life plans include parenthood. Never does anyone imagine that they won’t qualify. No one checks their potential marriage partners credentials for this very important job before signing the contract. You can see by the way they handle kids that they would be a good mum or dad. You can see from their lineage that they are genteel folk. You might see that they are well endowed and are a pleasure to be with. But never could you have known that that pleasure will have to be harnessed into a tube to take you both to the pleasure and privilege of parenthood. We see many many sad people in this desperate predicament every day. Try as we may, not everyone we try to help can be helped. We don’t have the Midas touch – not everyone we treat gets to take a baby home with them. We don’t look for whose fault it is. We try to respectfully and kindly optimize where we find optimal function may be lacking. We endeavour to hold your hand and your heart through this tough, though amazing, journey.
In science, things are not always as they seem. Sometimes we feel all is going well and we go nowhere. Other times we can’t imagine what good can come of this – and one oocyte at pick up, makes one perfect embryo and one perfect pregnancy. We never know which one of you will walk away disappointed after the first treatment but we do guarantee you one thing. When you have that precious soul in your arms and you feel her soft skin and hear his sweet cry, none of what went before will ever matter.
We are Sandton Fertility Clinic and we have been helping people like you successfully for 20 years. We have state-of-the-art equipment and a dynamic interactive team. We pride ourselves on the best quality care for our patients, by appointment, by one doctor at every visit. No shifting from hand to hand. No frantic rushing to arrive first to beat the 6am to 9am rush to sit in a waiting room filled with your friends, relatives and other distraught women in whose eyes you see a reflection of yourself. We individualise your treatment and facilitate the best protocol for you by reviewing your particular case at academic meetings with our fertility team – doctor, fertility sister, embryologist, urologist, endocrinologist, dietician and acupuncturist.


All this to facilitate that every ovulation induction cycle, every Intra-Uterine Insemination and every IVF cycle gives you maximum returns on your investment – your emotional, psychological and monetary investment.
By Dr Razina Patel